Peeping Tom
by Quilled
Summary: My DMP alley scene thoughts for Buffy. And don't run away, because note the humor. It's different, I swear!


"I am living in a cardboard box world, and I am a cardboard box girl." JW&Co. has everything. Hello? thought that was implied.....

A/N: Yes, I'm probably the 21st person to do the DmP scene in the alley. But _I _haven't done it yet, okay? So lay off! And I know I should do a Spike POV because they're all Buffy POVs but...it wouldn't work if I did a Spike POV, okay? And I know that was a few episodes ago and I'm just doing this now but it came to me in a dream. Seriously. Plus, this is different.

Something isn't right here. I feel like...no, shake off the feeling. Just enjoy the comfort-fuck. Because this isn't a world of puppies and dandelion tiaras. He's telling me he understands and he's making me feel better. He takes my mind off of things on my break. That's what a break's supposed to be, right? Good. 

So, why is there this gnawing feeling that my Slayer sense can't shake off?

Damn, stupid feeling. We were about to kiss but I can't, I feel like someone's watching. Gross, I know, and so unfair. It's not enough that I have to deal with demons and apocalypses, but perverts too? 

Okay, I'm nonchalantly looking over his shoulder...there! Yes, I see it now. It's a hole in the brick on the wall facing me. It's just this gaping hole. It's following my movements. I move my hand to his arm experimentally. Yep, it's watching. 

What to do, what to do. I can't just say, 'Hold on there a second, Spike. Let me just go slay the nasty hole in the wall, then we can get back to what it was we were doing.' I know, even though I didn't really say it, I can't say making love. That makes it real, that makes it more than a far away place in the shadows.

I can't even THINK in peace with that thing staring at me. This is way too uncomfortable.

Wonder if these kinds of situations are in that handbook I never got. I can see it now: **If you encounter a peeping hole in an otherwise perfect wall while having sex with your secret vampire lover, proceed to cautiously aim and throw a stake at the center of the hole, successfully clogging it and cutting off its air supply. It also will prevent the hole from staring at you, so you can spend the rest of your break from your job without fear of being watched.**

I'm about to laugh at the absurdity of being threatened by a deep circular dent (because that's what a hole is, isn't it? I was just saying that to form some sort of variety instead of just calling it a hole all the time) when I don't even bat an eyelash at the Master or gross yellow things. Then I realize that in my particular situation, it wouldn't seem very appropriate and would most likely be misinterpreted by Spike. He would probably stop, and I really don't want him to stop, despite the fact that I tell him I hate what we're doing.

Hi, deep circular dent. I'm Buffy Summers. Vampire Slayer, Vampire layer, I've seen and done it all. And yourself? Oh, you don't exactly put the M in Manners, what with not introducing yourself when I went out of my way to greet you. May I suggest Emily Post? She's good with the etiquette in everyday life and such. Things I really would know nothing about. Another suggestion, don't make me talk to you instead of with you. I like colorful commentary sometimes, you know.

Ugh! This is ridiculous. I've stooped so low that I'm talking to a hole. Maybe if I named it I wouldn't feel like such an idiot. Hmm. You don't look like a girl, definitely masculinity radiating off of you. Well, what's so feminine about a dirty alley wall? So...how about Parker? See, I don't really like you so far. And that name definitely doesn't give off warm fuzzies, well, to me. In the words of Willow, he's a poophead. 

Well, time to go back to flipping burgers and contemplating the Meat Process - Process of the Meat. Goodbye, I hope I never see you again. And stop looking at me!

-fin-

A/N: I know that was way short. Dun care, you don't have to review. But if you review to say you hate it, that's okay too. I'll just take it off if I get a review like that. Because I don't want to soil your eyes or anything.


End file.
